October 5, 2010

I NEED A GIRLFRIEND

I’ve never been a particularly girly person. From my early years till today, I’ve mostly been surrounded by the members of the opposite sex. When I was younger and dad was still in the army, the only female influence in my life was my mother and fortunately or unfortunately, my mother has never had any interest in fashion, jewellery or makeup. So, I spent most of my formative years not really caring how I looked or dressed. I was always well dressed, my parents made sure of that, but I never put too much effort into it.

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I was 12 when I came to Bangalore. Since then, 90% of the friends I made were boys. It wasn’t something I did consciously. I didn’t even realise it till I was much older and the comments started about my hanging out with so many boys. My parents never cared and neither did I. I can count on one hand, the number of girlfriends I have today, out of which 3 have moved out of Bangalore. My best friend of 10 years is a girl, but she’s in a live-in relationship and works close to 80 hours a week. Its almost impossible to get hold of her.

My only other female friend in Bangalore is in an extremely unhealthy relationship that has caused all of her friendships to fall apart.

 Bonnie-and-Elena-damon-and-bonnie-11551317-800-450I spent most of the 4 years of my college with 5 boys that I was really good friends with. I don’t have a single girlfriend that I met in college. It’s not that I didn’t make a single girlfriend, I did, but all of those friendships fizzled out sooner or later.

My friend’s girlfriends thought I was trying to steal their boyfriends and so I never got to get to know any of them either. As far as I was concerned, I didn’t know they existed. I’m pretty much a drama-free person and always tried my best to not get involved. Anyone who’s best buddy is a guy will know how hard it is to maintain your friendship and at the same time make sure you’re not the reason he gets dumped.

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As much I love all of my guy friends, its not always easy being friends with them. They talk a lot of crap, they can be quite insensitive, and well annoying. And there’s the problem of not getting too close to them cos they might think you’re in love with them ( I talk from experience). Men and their giant egos. They think everyone’s in love with them.

And all of these things I can live with. I love my friends. They’ve been there for me through some really tough times and they’ve always looked out for me. And my parents love them too.

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But there are times I really wish I had a girlfriend I could talk to about the girly stuff. Can you believe I have no one I can talk to about boys or take along for shopping or discuss fashion and makeup with? I wish I had a friend I could go with to watch chick flicks and shop and try out makeup with and go to the salon with. Someone who’d tell me honestly if something looks good on me and let me know when I look like I got hit by a truck. Someone who’d notice that I got a new haircut or that I’m wearing a new top.

I've spent most of the recent years convincing myself I don’t need a girlfriend. But who am I kidding right? I miss those days when I had girlfriends and we would spend half an hour on the phone every day discussing what to wear the next day.

Every girl needs a girlfriend, whether we admit it or not.

7 comments:

Poohkie said...

Awwww! A very sweet and personal post. It certainly touched a chord with me.

I have always been a girly girl and I don't know any guys that I can call 'friends'. But I realised a couple of years ago that guys are really easy to talk to and get along with. And they can be idiotic, sexist and insensitive as hell, but I sometimes wish my girl friends were as easy going as guys are. And I can understand what you say about girls not letting you get close to their boyfriends! I know a LOT of women who are super possessive and look at such friendships with suspicion.

A few months ago, I had a pretty major falling out with my 3 girl friends. It wasn't just a silly fight - I found them constantly pressurizing me to act like them and explain my every move. I put up with it for years, but it finally got too much and we parted ways. I don't think I can be friends with them any time soon. But I sure as hell miss all the fun I had with them. So I'm with you as you mourn the loss of girly friendships!

bollywoodstylediaries said...

"They think everyone’s in love with them" - LOL

I have been friends with guys as well as girls and both of them have different things to offer..but yes, u tend to connect at a much deeper level with girls - just my perspective:-)

Adorable On Your Vanity said...

I am a girly girl as well. My story is kind of the opposite of yours. I moved to Canada when I was 13, 10 years ago. Before that I was a complete tomboy, but when I moved here I was bullied by two guys (yes, guys). So it made me never want to be friends with guys. I did have one guy friend though, he turned out to be gay. But I have realized that it is something I really miss. Especially when I talk to my guy friends in India...they can make you laugh and cheer you up like nobody can. So my story is the opposite of yours.

ladylavendersays said...

@Poohkie.. Thanks for your very long comment :P. I really appreciate it.
I agree with you. Guys are much more easy going and don't really bother you about small small things.
I've had those kind of girlfriends too and I know that kind of pressure. Which is why I've always gravitated towards guys. I'm still in touch with guys that I know since I was 12. But i've never felt any inclination to do the same with the girlfriends that I had.
But if you find that one girlfriend that gets you, its a friendship that'll last you a lifetime.
I've had that friend, but we've both gotten so engrossed in our individual lives that it's sometimes hard to keep in touch. Its such an on-again off-again kind of friendship.

Good to know that I'm not the only one mourning the loss of girlfriends.

ladylavendersays said...

@bollywoodstylediaries.. I agree with you. you cannot connect with a guy the way you can with a girl.
@AOYV.. well the story's the same. the characters have changed. You miss your guy friends and i miss my girl friends.

Classy&Fabulous said...

I can totally relate to this. EVen though I am into all things girly I could Never do night spends with all girls. It got a little too much!

swayambhu said...

I've heard so many guys say this....first time its coming from a girl!! :-) On a more serious note, my closest friend is a bit like you, in that most of her friends are guys (she has a few really close girlfriends too) so yeah...I can understand what you are talking about. Btw, you write really well...would love to read more of your stuff in future.

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